Stiff Upper Lip

Since it’s my Tumblr and I know who I’m talking about, I’d like to keep their names anonymous since it’s the internet and all…

1) When I visited home, I feel a little distant from you. I overheard you saying something about me turning into my mother. Please help me stop this. :-/ I’ve really noticed my relationship patterns taking after her and this isn’t ideal. I can’t help but to learn a lot from my mother, I just need any type of encouragement in a different direction. I know I’m older but your advice is still tremendously appreciated, I have a hard time asking for it.

2) I can’t stop thinking about you #2, even if it was crappy, you were kind. Your exuberant personality, your respect for others, your happy-go-lucky attitude… I want to be around more people like you. I’d like you in my life, I could learn many different things from you. I honestly adore you, I’m just intimidated. As cheesy as it sounds, you had me at Hello. When you walked into the room and your eyes laid on mine, your face is something I’ll never be able to forget, you had this lovestruck look on your face. And while I’ve continually fucked it up (biiiiiiig time), you’re still somewhat talking to me. I can’t let a person like you go. I’d like to prove myself to you that I didn’t waste your time.

3) Woman, If I want to sleep with my lights on in the middle of the afternoon, I’ll do just that. You keep going into my room and shutting them off. This is something I don’t do very often and its like you’re tracking each wattage I use. You eat in the dark because you can’t afford your RG&E bill even though you have two tenants. GET. A. JOB. Don’t rely on us and your unemployment check as your sole income. I pay rent here so I’d like to have my room to myself, I’ll be damned if I leave the lights on for the whole month out of spite. The rest of the house, I understand, it’s whatever you say goes but my room… *HISS* back off. I pay rent.

4) You’re still a little tattletale. You are the reason why I constantly got into trouble, it’s annoying and something you need to change. Nobody likes a snitch. Whatever you’re trying to do, it isn’t gonna work anymore. I’m out of the house, so I’m pretty much untouchable at this point. After you went crying to both mom and dad about something minor, that was it for me. I just picked on you for the whole week after that. You’re a little shit and I can’t wait for you to outgrow it. You don’t even deserve a spot on this list.

5) Girl, I love you. You pretty much saved my life last quarter. I feel SOO bad that you partnered up with me for most of the projects and I did a crap job. Well, I did good at first but when I got less-than-exciting marks back after giving my full effort, I just gave up. You made sure shit got done and I really applaud you for it. You deserve a pat on the back. I already thanked you but you need even more kudos.

6) You’re retarded. Like honest to god retarded. You started sooooo much shit and for what reason? It pretty much accomplished nothing. Shit started to unravel at the seams because of you. You need to get your head out of your ass and get over yourself. Don’t be so self-centered. I worked my ass off for you guys at the beginning of the quarter - balancing really tough courses, your ridiculous positions that nobody could handle, my new jobs, and the psychological warfare - you still thought I was undeserving of anything. I apologized to you, we made up, and you still mad anyways. That’s stupid and two-faced of you. All you’re good at is destroying things, everything you did completely backfired on you anyways. You say you’re not a quitter but you still quit anyways so stfu and gtfo.

7) Please cheer up! I think you’re one of the few loyal friends I have at this point. You had a really crappy last quarter and I don’t know how you survived it and managed to stay in school. You’ll always have my support because I confided in you about many things and you really deserve someone that’ll watch out for you.

8) I can’t stay away from you. Actually, I can but I can’t stop thinking about you. You cross my mind every single day. Even that stupid picture of the architect in the library makes me think of you. I didn’t realize how powerful you can be. I’d like a rendezvous again, you help me accomplish everything I’ve wanted. At a steep price. It’s all about check and balance I suppose. It’s worth it, I feel like a queen with you.

9) I’ve known both of you for years, you both have the same creepy crush on me lol. It’s pretty endearing but I just can’t manage to bring a relationship of any kind to fruition. All of this resistance just escalates your expectations and I can’t bear to disappoint anyone. I’d rather maintain a friendship (even if it’s based on a crush) than ruin anything.

10) Eminem - What happpppened to you??? You were like the epitome of sexy with your DGAF attitude and now you’re all depressed. I mean you always had rage issues but now… you’re just morose. But I still love you anyways cuz you’re good at what you do. I think all of my blonde crushes are based off you haha.